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Jill Kovacs
The Kovacs Story
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One of the Lucky Ones
Emotionally, I have never recovered. And I am one of the lucky ones, my daughter beat this demon. We survived. Not just Jill, but all of us. But I know that I am not the same person I once was.
My daughter is not the same person. I was robbed of her childhood, she was not my daughter during that time period, she was what cancer wanted her to be. She was robbed of the blessed, carefree, innocence of her childhood.
Jill and Girls. This is a pic taken about 5.5 months into her illness. Jill's drug produced
'mood swings' but Jill's mood most often swung only one way, down. She was often moody, sullen, angry.
My daughter has a very high tolerance for pain, a sad commentary of her life. My five other daughters were robbed of a mother who had time to be foolish and carefree, I spent a good deal of time during their youngest years,
worrying about one child, not six. They understand that Jill holds a very special place in my heart, they understand that I may view Jill's accomplishments with more heartfelt emotion, then I view their same accomplishments.
While I am grateful and lucky to have children who understand this part of our lives, I am resentful that this should happen. I try to not let it happen, but deep down I have to accept that these feelings exist.
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