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Holly Warnet
Reflections
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It is now four years later and Holly's brothers are doing all right. It took a little longer for Sean to deal with it that it did Danny. Sean spent another year in alternate school, which helped him a lot. He is now getting A's and B's again. Danny is back up to his straight A's. Chris is still having his own problems but I don't think that they stem from Holly's death. Rick and I both still have a hard time with it but we are coping.
I sit and question myself; what did I do wrong in my life to have my child come down with cancer? If I had made different decisions or did things differently would Holly have died? I beat myself up all the time about the decisions that were made and ask myself why I didn't question them. I think about her, and all that she went through, each and every day. It does not feel like it has been four years now since her death, it feels like it was only last week.
My concerns are mostly for my granddaughter Kaitlyn. No one knows if Holly's cancer and chemo is going to affect Kaitlyn's health in the future. All the things that I have read and heard tell me that Kaitlyn has a greater chance than most children do to contract leukemia because her mother had cancer. The doctors can't confirm this for me.
Holly's concern was that Kaitlyn would get a good education and is able to go to college. She was also concerned about Kaitlyn growing up without her mother. The only way that she will know her mother is through pictures, movies and people. I also worry about Kaitlyn growing up without her mother. The sad truth is, that she has to.
I would like to see something set up for the families of any child with cancer to help pay for the medical bills, prescriptions and other expenses that are accrued. But most of all I would like to see more money put into finding out what is causing the cancer and stop it so that other families, and most of all other children,
do not have to deal with this at all. This is a terrible disease to live with and to watch. It destroys the lives of everyone that it comes in contact with (I guess that is why it is called cancer).
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